one-on-one

To List or Not to List: Agendas in One-on-Ones

Today I'll be exploring guidance on using lists and agendas during one-on-ones, inspired by the excellent Manager Tools podcast. Their wisdom has often informed my perspective on leadership and management excellence.

One-on-ones are most effective with just enough structure to spur productivity, while retaining an informal flow. Rigid agendas can sabotage the interpersonal openness that builds trust and psychological safety over time.

The Informal Agenda is Already Defined

The fundamental purpose and loose agenda of one-on-ones is already set - 10-15 minutes for employees to share what's top of mind, 10-15 minutes for you to provide guidance and feedback, and remaining time for coaching and growth discussions.

There's no need to create formal agendas within this agenda. The spirit of the meeting is unstructured, authentic dialogue, not minutely planned content. Dotting every "i" defeats the purpose.

Simple Lists Help Make the Time Productive

Employees should feel completely comfortable bringing a list of key topics or updates to cover to help them prepare and ensure important items aren't missed in the rush of your busy schedules. Keeping a list boosts efficiency and organization.

As the manager, keeping your own list on a consistent template is wise to optimize your time as well. A list helps you flag key priorities for each direct report so you can calibrate your guidance and questions accordingly.

But don't let the list constrain you. Allow room for spontaneity based on what emerges in the moment. The goal is enhancing mutual understanding, not just ticking off boxes.

Sharing Lists Can Build Transparency

Employees can certainly send you their list or priorities in advance if they’d like so you’re generally aware of what's top of mind or potential issues headed into the meeting. This transparency can help you listen even more fully.

However, as manager don't send employees your list or priorities in advance. This can negatively shift the tone from open dialogue to pre-assigned tasking. The meeting starts with their concerns, not yours.

Avoid Rigidity, Embrace Intentionality

Keep it simple - the right amount of structure maximizes value from these recurring touchpoints without getting bogged down in rigid formalities. Preparation, not paperwork, makes one-on-ones sing.

With the right balance of agenda flexibility, one-on-ones become sacrosanct rituals where candor and care flow freely. That spirit of intentionality, not any template, makes the investment of time worthwhile and meaningful.

If you have any other questions on running amazing one-on-ones, I offer management coaching focused on relationships, communication, feedback and other vital leadership skills. Please reach out! Thoughtful rituals build trust, transparency and teamwork.

Why One-on-Ones with Contractors Make Sense

As a coach, I'm always looking to synthesize wisdom on leadership and management from diverse sources into insights to share. In this spirit, today I’ll be exploring guidance on one-on-ones with contractors inspired by the invaluable Manager Tools podcast. Their perspective has profoundly shaped my own approach to effective management.

As a manager, one-on-one meetings represent your most powerful tool for building trust, fostering transparency, and empowering your team. But what about contingent, contract, or freelance workers who are not permanent employees? Should you invest the time and effort to meet with them regularly too? In most cases, the answer is a resounding yes.

They Directly Influence Results and Outcomes

At the end of the day, anyone who does work that significantly impacts your department’s outcomes warrants your attention and relationship-building. Contractors produce key deliverables and services your team relies on to hit targets and achieve success. So taking time to understand their challenges, surface concerns early, and improve collaboration will naturally yield better collective results.

One-on-one meetings exist fundamentally to foster effective, two-way communication and greater understanding between managers and their people. This in turn leads to increased engagement, more nimble problem-solving, higher quality output, and ultimately better performance.

Therefore, don’t view one-on-ones as a “perk” to dole out selectively or exclusively to privileged full-time employees. They simply represent an essential management practice to align the resources you depend on - all the resources - in service of shared goals.

Tailor the Approach Thoughtfully, Not the Overall Principle

When implementing one-on-one meetings with contract teammates, tailor the execution and formatting appropriately without compromising on the underlying commitment to inclusive leadership:

  • Roll them out simultaneously with permanent employees to signal equal importance and investment in their success, regardless of status. Avoid any visible favoritism.

  • Use a balanced 15 minute - 15 minute agenda split rather than 10-10-10, since you likely won't have long-term career development and goal-setting discussions. Keep the focus on near-term work.

  • Establish clear boundaries around inappropriate topics like pay, benefits, promotions, and future career trajectory that should strictly involve their employer, not you.

  • Focus the bulk of your one-on-one interactions on near-term work deliverables, processes, timelines, and constructive feedback to improve output and results. Content will differ but candor and care need not.

  • Get to know them as people too - there is no need for impersonal, all-business interactions. Find common ground as fellow professionals even if not under the same legal employment.

At the end of the day, you manage their work output, so take time to proactively manage the relationships enabling that work, rather than just reactively addressing problems as they arise. Delivering this respect and inclusion thoughtfully demonstrates your commitment to leading all team members well, without overstepping legal bounds.

Investing in Consistent Communication Pays Real Dividends

Above all, consider how consistent one-on-one meetings with contract employees establish open flows of communication and opportunities to surface concerns early, before frustrations boil over or issues spiral. This allows both of you to course correct quickly when needed, or capitalize on emerging opportunities in an agile fashion.

You also build relationships where people feel valued as individuals, not just interchangeable contractors. This motivates discretionary effort, knowledge sharing, and willingness to go the extra mile when crunch times inevitably hit.

If you need any guidance instituting more inclusive, empowering one-on-ones, I offer management coaching focused explicitly on relationship-building, feedback excellence, and other core leadership skills vital for unleashing any team’s potential. Please reach out anytime to discuss how we can collaborate. Thoughtful communication and leading by serving will reinvent what your team can accomplish together.

The Power of a Repeated One-on-One Ritual

As leaders, we often obsess over trying to make each one-on-one meeting special, unique, and unpredictable. But real power stems from small, simple consistencies over time, not cleverness in every instance. Start each one-on-one the exact same ritualistic way to lay the groundwork for deeper understanding.

In this series, I’m exploring one-on-one best practices, many inspired by the Manager Tools podcast. Their wisdom has profoundly shaped my perspective, though I synthesize insights from many sources into my own coaching philosophy.

Single one-off meetings can be impactful. But over months and years, the cumulative effects of repetitive actions are what builds trust, insight, and retainment of top talent. Don’t get distracted trying to reinvent the wheel or show off your wit every time. Thoughtful, predictable rituals create fertile ground for sustained growth.

Why Ritual Outperforms Cleverness

It’s tempting to want each one-on-one to feel fresh, organic and completely unique. But this mindset misses the power of pattern recognition over time. A repeated simple ritual may seem boring, but it pays dividends.

Benefits include:

- You learn how different personalities express themselves based on their response style. Quiet employees may offer short vague answers. Big picture thinkers may not recite details. Over time, the pattern recognition ability you develop is invaluable.

- You start noticing subtle trends and changes in mood, energy, body language or tone that can signal emerging issues or opportunities worth digging into. Abrupt terseness from someone usually verbose quickly raises flags something is amiss.

- It reduces the mental effort of trying to conjure a novel, organic opening line every time, allowing you to funnel that brain power into focused listening instead. Energy goes into the conversation rather than the gimmick.

- The predictable rhythm comforts employees and eliminates uncertainties. One less thing to worry about puts them at ease and primes them for candor.

Rituals Build the Foundation, Insights Follow

Resist the urge as a leader to approach each encounter as a chance to impress. Put the emphasis instead on long-term pattern recognition and meaning derived through consistency over time. Establish a simple ritual, then work to discern insights within the comfortable structure it provides.

Optimal Opening Questions

Choose a standard opening question and use it start every one-on-one, every time, with every employee. For example:

- How are you?

- What's been going on this week?

- How are things?

- What's top of mind right now?

Don’t feel pressure to conjure something new or contemporary. The power is in the pattern itself, not the poetry of the words.

Capture Responses for Reflection

Write down or otherwise record your team members’ answers each week. Taking this small step allows you to:

- Easily refer back to check on progress of issues week-to-week. One-off problems become trends.

- See insightful patterns over months that you certainly would have missed in the moment.

- Not rely solely on memory, which fades quickly when managing a team.

- Quiz people about inconsistencies between their own responses that they may not recall offhand.

Don’t view it as imposing tedious structure. You’re laying the groundwork for enhanced recall and insight over the long run.

The Big Picture Role of Management

It’s easy as a leader to slip into thinking your job is to “win” each individual one-on-one. But your real duty is noticing subtle trends over time, coaching others’ development, and ultimately retaining your best talent over months and years. A repeated simple ritual feeds that bigger picture focus on continuity.

Of course, eventually rituals can become rote. So periodically change the question, while still keeping it consistent for a sustained period to allow insights to emerge. Just don’t fall into the trap of trying to impress people with your wit and ingenuity each time. The power is in the pattern.

Invest in Your Growth as a Leader

Like all management skills, consistently practicing one-on-ones will boost your ability to cultivate trust, have meaningful exchanges, and strengthen connections over time. If you want additional support on your journey to management excellence, I offer executive coaching focused explicitly on upleveling leadership abilities like emotional intelligence and communication.

Please feel free to reach out if you would like to explore coaching for yourself or your team. We all get better together. Consistency compounds, in leadership and in life.

Why Skip-Level One-on-Ones Undermine Rather Than Strengthen Connection

As managers rise through the ranks, it’s tempting to want direct, firsthand relationships with all employees, even well down the org chart. But conducting one-on-one meetings with direct reports of your direct reports—known as skip level employees—often proves to be an ineffective use of time that actually weakens critical connections.

I’m synthesizing the wisdom of the Manager Tools podcast, which has profoundly shaped my own coaching philosophy. I’ve experienced the dysfunction of skip-level one-on-ones personally during my career. When one-on-ones flow properly up and down the management chain, critical information bubbles up through trusted relationships. Attempting to short-circuit this chain through skip-level meetings then becomes redundant rather than value-adding.

Why Managers Are Tempted By Skip Level One-On-Ones

It’s understandable why managers are intrigued by the idea of skip-level one-on-ones. Some common motivations include:

- A desire for firsthand exposure to what’s happening on the frontlines to gain unfiltered perspectives.

- Suspicion that direct reports might not provide complete transparency, so wanting to verify stories.

- Belief that more access and visibility will improve skip-level employees’ engagement and connection to leadership.

- Feeling like informal, personality-driven connections are crucial for talent retention and development.

- Wanting to signal an open door policy and outlet for raising concerns.

- Curiosity about how policies and strategies are being implemented.

- Identifying high-potential employees who might not be visible through current processes.

These motivations are well-intentioned. But skip-level one-on-ones often fail to achieve the desired goals while creating unintended consequences.

The Pitfalls of Skip Level One-on-Ones

In practice, skip-level one-on-ones between managers and indirect reports frequently fall flat:

- They undermine the primary relationship between managers and their own direct reports, sowing confusion on where employees should devote time and attention.

- They tend to rehash much of the same ground already covered in other one-on-ones, wasting time without surfacing new insights.

- Employees can feel uncomfortable being fully candid with a more senior leader they don’t know well, impairing psychological safety.

- Even if issues are surfaced, subsequent follow-up is diffused across multiple parties rather than clear accountability.

- They signal a lack of full trust and confidence in the transparency and integrity of data flowing properly up through management channels. This reflects poorly on your team’s managers.

- As an employee, I’ve personally found them unproductive. The skip-level leader gains little meaningful new context about my work. And I leave unsure if my input sparked any substantive change or action plans.

- Conducting meaningful one-on-ones with indirect reports takes significant time. The opportunity cost of investing hours this way detracts from developing your direct reports.

In essence, skip-level one-on-ones disempower managers from building strong connections with their own employees. They also rarely provide meaningful new understanding for senior leaders. The juice is rarely worth the squeeze.

Strengthening Bonds Indirectly But Effectively

None of this means you must resign to distant, impersonal relationships with skip-level employees. But the most effective connections come indirectly by working through proper channels.

- Coach your managers to have excellent one-on-ones with their own direct reports. This cascades transparency and accountability up the chain.

- Conduct skip-level team meetings to hear collective, high-level perspectives without undermining individual managers.

- Maintain an open door policy so employees know they can surface unresolved issues.

- Make time during site visits for informal conversations and rapport-building across the organization.

- Celebrate successes publicly to indirectly fuel engagement at every level.

- Debrief regularly with managers on employee feedback themes so you know the pulse and culture.

The truth is, the relationship health of your skip-level team depends almost entirely on the relationship health between each manager and their direct reports. This means investing in your direct reports’ leadership abilities rather than circumventing them.

Why The Links In Your Chain of Trust Matter Most

Organizational relationships function like a chain. They are only as strong as the trust between each link. When you try to short-circuit the chain through skip-level one-on-ones, you implicitly signal a lack of confidence in its strength.

Instead, focus on fortifying each link:

- Coach your managers on having rich one-on-one dialogues with their people.

- Help them grow skills in building trust, providing feedback, delegating, and developing team members.

- Require and monitor the consistency of their one-on-ones.

- Role model transparent leadership yourself in your meetings with them.

- Work collaboratively on aligning priorities across levels.

- Celebrate, appreciate, and reward collaborative, empowering leadership.

The more you invest in nurturing the links closest to each employee, the greater the returns in engagement, innovation, and execution throughout the organization. Skip-level one-on-ones often nip these buds before they can bloom.

Invest in the Chain, Invest in the Organization

If you want additional support strengthening your chain of trust, I offer executive coaching focused explicitly on this management system connectivity. Feel free to reach out to explore how I can help you and your team develop the leadership abilities that translate to broad organizational health.

Empowered people empower people. With consistency and care, you can build an organization that actualizes this virtuous cycle at every level.

How to Make Your One-on-Ones More Conversational

One-on-ones are most effective when the conversation flows naturally in both directions. But transforming them from reporting sessions into genuine dialogue takes some finesse. Follow these tips to foster engaging, productive exchanges.

As always, I’m sharing guidance that has shaped my own coaching approach, and this topic again comes inspired by the Manager Tools podcast. Their wisdom on one-on-ones has proven invaluable time and again.

While structure provides consistency, the real magic of one-on-ones happens through candid, unscripted connection. When you and your employees can share openly without judgement, trust deepens on both sides.

Don’t Worry if Early One-on-Ones Feel Stiff

If you’re just launching one-on-ones, expect some initial awkwardness as you and your team adjust to the new format. Allow time for guards to fall as relationships strengthen through repetition.

Resist the temptation to force casual interaction. As long as critical information is flowing, view early discomfort as a necessary stage of establishing new habits.

Ask Questions to Spark Conversation

Don’t just listen silently during your employee’s portion. Jump in with clarifying questions and additional perspectives. Make it a dynamic exchange.

Interruptions and back-and-forth happen in most meetings. Apply that same principle to one-on-ones. Just take care not to dominate the conversation.

Address Shared Topics Together

If you and your employee plan to discuss the same issue, don’t wait your turn. Dive in when it arises and have a fluid discussion.

Still prioritize their concerns first, but take the opportunity to share, probe and gain alignment.

Add Time as Needed When Agendas Overlap

If you end up covering some of your topics while your employee is speaking, grant them extra time so you don’t cut them off early.

The goal is allowing enough space for both of you to get needs met, not rigid time splits.

Encourage Questions During Your Portion Too

Tell your employees up front that you welcome their questions and interruptions while you’re speaking. A conversation goes two ways.

Reinforce that it’s not a presentation - it’s a dialogue to gain mutual understanding.

Schedule Time to Build Rapport

Consider scheduling rapport-building time before diving into agendas. Those first unstructured minutes allow you both to shift gears into a conversational mindset.

With practice, you can transform one-on-ones into relaxed yet productive sessions where you both contribute fully. The openness will yield dividends.

Invest in Yourself as a Leader

As with all management skills, consistently practicing one-on-ones will boost your ability to connect. If you want additional support, executive coaching provides immense value in augmenting emotional intelligence.

Please feel free to reach out if you would like to explore coaching for yourself or your leadership team. Fostering growth and trust ultimately serves your whole organization.

How to Schedule One-on-Ones for Maximum Impact

One-on-one meetings are a cornerstone of great management. But with packed calendars, it can be challenging to find time for meaningful connections. Proper scheduling is key to making one-on-ones work. Follow these strategies to set up a cadence that demonstrates your team is a top priority.

I learned the importance of dedicated one-on-ones from an influential mentor of mine who followed the wisdom of Manager Tools, an invaluable resource for leaders. Now I pass on their guidance to help managers develop critical relationship-building skills.

While demands press in, one-on-ones create essential space to guide employees, exchange feedback, and foster growth. Done right, they boost trust, morale, and performance.

A 4-Step Process for One-on-One Scheduling

Scan your calendar first. Block off times for standing meetings and other commitments. One-on-ones take precedence as your most important meetings.

Offer at least 1.5 times slots as you have direct reports. Don’t just provide the exact number of slots - you need wiggle room.

Allow employees to choose the best time for them from your provided options. This demonstrates you value their needs.

It’s okay to request 1-2 time changes if certain slots end up overbooked. But overall, defer to employee preferences.

This balanced approach enables you to steer the ship while empowering your team to find optimal timing.

Key Considerations For One-on-One Scheduling

While there’s no single perfect way to schedule one-on-ones, keep these factors in mind:

Avoid Monday mornings and Friday afternoons due to common conflicts.

Earlier in the week allows more flexibility to reschedule if needed.

Standard meeting times tend to work better than off-times.

Morning, mid-day or afternoon slots have pros and cons - choose based on your and your team’s preferences.

Scheduling them all in one day provides focus, while spreading them out increases flexibility.

Some like back-to-back scheduling for efficiency while others prefer breaks between.

The priority is establishing consistent touchpoints, not finding an elusive ideal time. Test different approaches to see what works best.

The #1 Rule: One-on-Ones Are Sacred

Above all, once you commit to scheduling one-on-ones, make them a firm calendar commitment. Never cancel without immediately rescheduling. Defy attempts by others to schedule over this sacred time with your team.

Making one-on-ones a consistent presence demonstrates their immense value to your employees. It also reflects clear priorities on your part as a manager and enables the trust-building relationships that motivate great work.

Invest in Your People and Your Leadership

By dedicating time for one-on-one meetings and actively listening during them, you develop your team and strengthen your own emotional intelligence and coaching abilities.

If you want additional support for your management journey, executive coaching provides immense value. We can work together to refine your one-on-one approach and other leadership practices. Please feel free to reach out if you would like to explore coaching for yourself or your team. Developing leaders develop their people.