Today I'll be exploring guidance on using lists and agendas during one-on-ones, inspired by the excellent Manager Tools podcast. Their wisdom has often informed my perspective on leadership and management excellence.

One-on-ones are most effective with just enough structure to spur productivity, while retaining an informal flow. Rigid agendas can sabotage the interpersonal openness that builds trust and psychological safety over time.

The Informal Agenda is Already Defined

The fundamental purpose and loose agenda of one-on-ones is already set - 10-15 minutes for employees to share what's top of mind, 10-15 minutes for you to provide guidance and feedback, and remaining time for coaching and growth discussions.

There's no need to create formal agendas within this agenda. The spirit of the meeting is unstructured, authentic dialogue, not minutely planned content. Dotting every "i" defeats the purpose.

Simple Lists Help Make the Time Productive

Employees should feel completely comfortable bringing a list of key topics or updates to cover to help them prepare and ensure important items aren't missed in the rush of your busy schedules. Keeping a list boosts efficiency and organization.

As the manager, keeping your own list on a consistent template is wise to optimize your time as well. A list helps you flag key priorities for each direct report so you can calibrate your guidance and questions accordingly.

But don't let the list constrain you. Allow room for spontaneity based on what emerges in the moment. The goal is enhancing mutual understanding, not just ticking off boxes.

Sharing Lists Can Build Transparency

Employees can certainly send you their list or priorities in advance if they’d like so you’re generally aware of what's top of mind or potential issues headed into the meeting. This transparency can help you listen even more fully.

However, as manager don't send employees your list or priorities in advance. This can negatively shift the tone from open dialogue to pre-assigned tasking. The meeting starts with their concerns, not yours.

Avoid Rigidity, Embrace Intentionality

Keep it simple - the right amount of structure maximizes value from these recurring touchpoints without getting bogged down in rigid formalities. Preparation, not paperwork, makes one-on-ones sing.

With the right balance of agenda flexibility, one-on-ones become sacrosanct rituals where candor and care flow freely. That spirit of intentionality, not any template, makes the investment of time worthwhile and meaningful.

If you have any other questions on running amazing one-on-ones, I offer management coaching focused on relationships, communication, feedback and other vital leadership skills. Please reach out! Thoughtful rituals build trust, transparency and teamwork.

As a manager, few things are more important than building strong relationships and trust with your team. But it’s easy to get caught up in the endless cycle of tasks and meetings, with little time left to connect. That’s why the most effective leaders consistently make one-on-one meetings a priority.

I first learned the power of dedicated one-on-ones from a director I worked for years ago. He structured our meetings based on guidance from the invaluable Manager Tools podcast, which has shaped my approach as a coach. Now I pass this wisdom on to help other leaders develop critical management skills.

While meetings proliferate and time disappears, one-on-ones provide consistent space to listen, exchange feedback, provide guidance, and demonstrate each employee’s value. Done right, they transform relationships and results.

Why One-on-Ones Are Essential

It’s tempting to view one-on-one meetings as just another item on your endless to-do list. But they offer immense benefits that impact your team’s performance and morale:

- Develops trust and stronger connections from quality focused time together

- AllowsSurfacing concerns early before they become major problems

- Provides a regular forum for delivery of praise and constructive feedback

- Keeps you closely in touch with the status of projects and any roadblocks

- Creates a space for brainstorming solutions and providing coaching

- Demonstrates the employee’s importance by giving them your undivided attention

Without regular one-on-ones, you miss critical opportunities to provide clarity, resolve issues early, and guide your employees’ growth and development. Don’t let the urgent undermine time dedicated to understanding your team.

How to Structure Effective One-on-One Meetings

To maximize the impact of one-on-ones, Manager Tools recommends this simple but powerful structure:

- Schedule them for 30 minutes once a week with each direct report

- Block them on your calendar to preserve the sacred time

- Give employees the first 10 minutes to talk about anything on their mind

- Use the next 10 minutes to address your agenda and questions

- Spend the final 10 minutes on coaching and discussing future goals

- Hold them in your office or a neutral space with no distractions

- Never cancel without rescheduling that same week – they are a top priority

This format enables your team to share ideas and concerns freely, knowing they have your full attention and support. This transparencybreeds loyalty and innovation.

Making One-on-Ones More Natural

At first, one-on-one meetings may feel awkward as you develop rapport. Here are some tips to help the conversations flow:

- Ask thoughtful, open-ended questions and listen deeply

- Focus on understanding, not immediately solving problems

- Share your own relevant experiences to find common ground

- Follow up on action items week-to-week to provide continuity

- Note key points and summarize conversations to show you were listening

- Find informal spaces like coffee shops to vary the scenery

As you learn about your employees’ needs and build understanding, the meetings will become more relaxed and valuable.

Why Investing in One-on-Ones Pays Off

Consistent one-on-ones clearly demonstrate that developing team members is a top priority for any great leader. The benefits include:

- Employees feel valued, heard, and invested in

- You gain critical insights into morale, challenges, and goals

- It keeps you connected to the team’s real experience day-to-day

- You strengthen coaching skills through practice and repetition

- Trust increases as people know they have direct access to you

- You quickly address frustrations before they become problems

- It allows recognition of achievements that might otherwise go unnoticed

- Your whole team gains confidence in your leadership and concern for them

By spending time in one-on-ones listening, learning, and connecting, you empower your staff to grow and do their best work. You also build vital management and communication abilities that make you a stronger leader.

Taking Your Leadership Development to the Next Level

While I firmly believe one-on-ones are a foundational management practice, executive coaching can provide immense value in augmenting your skills. Coaches work with leaders to:

- Set up scheduling systems and one-on-one best practices

- Develop strong listening and empowering feedback skills

- Learn to provide guidance while maintaining autonomy

- Improve executive presence and leadership communication

- Implement ongoing methods for relationship-building and mentorship

Everything rises and falls on leadership. Developing yourself is the highest-yield investment you can make, both for your own growth and to inspire your team to bring their best.

I encourage you to check out the Manager Tools podcast and community for more wisdom that has shaped my approach to management excellence. And please feel free to reach out if you would like to explore executive coaching for yourself or your leadership team. Helping leaders grow and serve their people well is my passion.

To List or Not to List: Agendas in One-on-Ones