Insecurity can completely undermine even the most competent and experienced leaders. As a leader, your insecurities are often far more obvious to your team than you realize. Left unchecked, insecurity can corrode trust, provoke doubt, and limit your effectiveness.This post explores common insecure behaviors, why insecurity backfires, and how to overcome insecurity as a leader.
Insecure Behaviors to Avoid
Insecurity manifests in many subtle behaviors and communication patterns. Here are some of the most common to be aware of:
Rambling or over-explaining: When insecure, leaders often ramble on to fill silence or over-explain simple concepts. This causes others to tune out.
Controlling conversations: Insecure leaders often dominate conversations, interrupt frequently, or neglect to solicit input from others. This stifles healthy dialogue.
Asserting authority unnecessarily: Saying things like "I'm the boss!" or emphasizing your authority in situations where it's already clear comes across as posturing.
Repeating yourself: Repeating the same point multiple times screams self-doubt. It makes employees doubt your confidence.
Acting like you know everything: No one knows everything. Refusing to admit knowledge gaps or limitations makes you seem arrogant and discourages questions.
Not listening to feedback: Constructive feedback is invaluable for growth and self-awareness. Leaders who get defensive or refuse to listen to feedback appear insecure.
Needing to be the hero: Insecure leaders often swoop in to solve problems personally that should be delegated. This suggests you need to be the hero.
Taking credit: Insecure leaders take credit for successes that should be attributed to their team. This screams self-validation.
Why Insecurity Backfires
The root of insecurity is self-doubt. As a leader, any behavior that conveys self-doubt can undermine your credibility and make employees uneasy. People want confidence, vision, and decisiveness from their leaders. When you act insecure as a leader, common consequences include:
Employees lose trust in your judgment: Self-doubt breeds distrust. Employees wonder if you have the judgment needed to make big calls.
Employees doubt your competence: Insecurity makes you appear less capable in your role. Employees may question if you're qualified to lead.
Employees feel you are not fit to lead: Overall, insecurity creates an impression that you lack the poise, confidence, and vision required in a leader.
Employees get frustrated: Behaviors like repetition, rambling, and controlling dialogue frustrate employees and make them tune out.
Employees hesitate to bring concerns: Insecure leaders who get defensive about feedback train employees not to bring concerns to them. This impedes communication.
Insecurity perpetuates imposter syndrome: Struggling with self-doubt yourself makes employees doubt their own abilities and contributions.
In the end, the very doubts and undermining insecure leaders fear become self-fulfilling prophecies. Employees pick up on the cues and begin to doubt in turn.
Overcoming Insecurity as a Leader
The first step is acknowledging when your own insecurity gets triggered. Common triggers include new challenges, criticism, or situations that make you feel inexperienced. Once you notice insecurity arising, you can consciously choose more constructive responses.Here are some tips for overcoming insecurity as a leader:
Accept that you'll never know everything. No leader is an expert across all domains. Admitting knowledge gaps shows maturity and humility. Employees respect transparency about limitations.
Focus outward, not inward. Insecure thoughts often run in loops like "Do they like me? What if I'm not qualified?" Practice redirecting your focus outward to your team's needs and goals.
Don't take feedback personally. Feedback is about improving, not about you as a person. Let go of ego and listen openly.
Surround yourself with trusted advisors. Bounce ideas off mentors and peers you trust. They can reality test you when insecurity warps perspective.
Work on emotional intelligence (EQ). Insecurity often stems from poor EQ. Self-awareness, empathy, vulnerability, and relationship skills help immensely.
Get a leadership coach. Coaches provide unbiased support to identify blindspots and overcome insecurity triggers as a leader.
Remember employees look to you. Focus on modeling the confidence, poise, and vision you expect from leaders. Employees take cues from you.
With self-reflection and conscious effort, leaders can keep insecurity in check. The first step is noticing when insecurity arises. From there, redirect your focus to leading effectively by seeking input, playing to your strengths, and developing self-awareness. Model the mindset and behaviors you expect from your team.
Conclusion
Insecurity is common among leaders, but it can sabotage you when unchecked. Through self-awareness and focusing outward on your team's needs, leaders can overcome insecurity. The right support and a commitment to growth helps leaders cultivate the confidence and poise that inspires others to follow.
As a leader, take time to reflect on when you feel insecure and how it impacts your leadership. Identify 1-2 specific insecure behaviors you want to work on. Share these insights with a trusted mentor or coach and create an action plan to practice responding constructively when insecurity arises. Small mindset shifts go a long way.
If insecurity is holding you back as a leader, a professional coach can provide unbiased guidance tailored to your needs. Coaching helps leaders gain self-awareness, improve emotional intelligence, and develop new leadership skills. Reach out to learn more about how coaching can accelerate your leadership growth. What steps will you take today to become the leader your team deserves? Don't let insecurity fester - you owe it to your team to proactively strengthen your leadership.