We’ve all had our share of ineffective managers. But early in my career, I experienced a truly toxic supervisor who taught me invaluable lessons through negative example. Deeply reflecting on why he failed helps underscore the key behaviors that distinguish great leaders.
I joined my first company right after college, brimming with enthusiasm and eager to add value through hard work. But my new manager, promoted from within after years as a thoroughly average individual contributor, cared little for actually developing people.
He demanded respect simply for obtaining a management title. But respect is earned through actions, not automatic with a promotion. Here are some of the critical flaws he demonstrated that progressive leaders must avoid:
Lacked Self-Awareness Despite Unimpressive Track Record
He acted self-important, entitled and arrogant, yet openly admitted flunking out of college previously due to excessive drinking issues. He felt his manager title alone meant we should defer to him as a leader.
In contrast, the best managers stay humble and self-aware even after promotion. They remember leadership is an ongoing journey, not a permanent achievement. Outstanding leaders don’t rely on prestige but instead prove themselves daily through service, competence and vision. You must continually re-earn your team’s respect.
This manager’s hubris revealed deep insecurity rather than warranted confidence. Great leaders know no matter how much they accomplish, they can always grow in self-awareness.
Micromanaged Despite Lacking Expertise and Skills
Because he had previously held our roles before being promoted, he claimed to know best how to do our jobs. But I personally heard him handle escalated calls from customers, where he came across as awkward, stumbling, overly apologetic and weak.
Outstanding leaders recognize they cannot possibly have all the answers. Instead of micromanaging, they strive to develop team capabilities and autonomy based on individuals’ unique strengths. People excel when playing to their strengths in areas you may not master yourself.
By refusing to acknowledge his own shortcomings, he limited the team’s potential. The best leaders acknowledge gaps in their knowledge and empower others to fill them.
Dismissed Employee Perspectives
When I tried to share candidly that aggressive sales tactics didn’t suit my natural abilities and talents, he completely disregarded my insights about myself. I consistently had some of the highest quality metrics on the team when it came to customer satisfaction and handling time. But I struggled with upselling and “leads.”
The best managers listen deeply, exhibit curiosity and appropriately leverage unique talents. They don’t force square pegs into round holes or make people work against their nature.
His refusal to tailor roles to strengths showed lack of interest in my success. Adaptive leaders realize they must see each person’s full potential in order to unlock it.
Prioritized Self-Interest Above the Team
He explicitly made my career development and growth within the company contingent on boosting certain metrics he wanted to win a personal all-expenses-paid leisure trip and reward. In his mind, as the manager he was owed that.
True servant leadership always puts the team first. You should strive to advance others, not leverage or coerce them purely for personal gain. Sacrificing employees' growth for your own reveals your values.
His self-centeredness damaged trust and morale. The most effective leaders nurture employees’ goals and potential as vigorously as they do their own.
Promoted Toxic "Customer is Always Right" Mentality
He refused to support team members when interacting with customers who were clearly abusive, condescending or unreasonable. However, during my interview process the job was explicitly described as a non-sales role, which I respected.
Great leaders have the courage and confidence to set boundaries and act ethically, not appease one side at the expense of employees. They understand the need to balance empathy and empowerment for multiple stakeholders.
The hypocrisy in expectations and unwillingness to address abusive treatment revealed lack of integrity. Trust stems from modeling consistency between words and actions.
The Worst Experiences Can Lead To The Biggest Realizations
While often painful, these searing trials by fire taught me invaluable lessons about how not to operate. I vowed to pursue self-awareness, nurture potential in others, and always lead with integrity.
In retrospect, the worst bosses provide our most transformational lessons. Their shortcomings shape us by starkly revealing what we must avoid becoming. Reflecting on those hard lessons guides our personal growth into the leaders we wish we had.
Have you taken time to distill key lessons, both positive and negative, from your most impactful managers? Past experience only elevates future performance when mindfully translated into insight. We must each commit to becoming the leader we needed when starting out.
Executive coaching provides objective guidance on developing emotional intelligence and leadership skills — especially valuable when lacking models in your current environment. Please don’t hesitate to reach out if you would like to discuss further. We all rise together through shared wisdom and support.