The Hard Truth: Are You Walking Your Talk?

As we continue our December journey of self-discovery in preparation for 2024, today it’s time to take an unflinching look inward at your core values.

What Are Values and Why Do They Matter?

Values serve as an inner compass – guiding principles that point you toward purposeful decisions. They influence how you spend time, who you associate with, the causes you support, the goals you pursue. Over decades they shape the narrative arc of your life story.

That’s why gaining clarity this month on your 5-8 core personal values was so important. Hopefully you carved out time for the self-inquiry needed to uncover values resonating as deeply rooted to your essence – pillars like growth, authenticity, compassion, creativity, legacy.

When you live life aligned with these North Stars, research shows you experience greater fulfillment, contribution to others, professional success, and sense of meaning. There is power in understanding and honoring your truth.

Conversely, betrayal of values leaves you rudderless – allowing outside pressures and opinions to dictate your priorities and erode inner wholeness over time. Studies reveal those losing connection with their moral compass report more anxiety, regret and feelings of hollowness that spark a crisis quest to rediscover purpose.

The Hard Truth About Your Past Year

With this context, it’s time to courageously investigate alignment between your stated values and how you actually spent the previous 12 months on this precious earth.

Take an unfiltered look backward across the choices you made, goals you did or didn’t pursue, time you allocated, voices you listened to, and standards you lived by or let slide. Then ask the hard but necessary questions:

Did your actions align with what you claim matters most? Or did you betray yourself and trade true North for easier paths or outside validation? Where did you stay the course despite difficulty, and where did you lose integrity?

Be ruthlessly honest. It can hurt in the moment to accept misalignment between your inner truth and outer life. But sweeping betrayal under the rug is infinitely more damaging over the long run. This is your hidden curriculum revealing itself. Seize this mirror being held up.

More questions for consideration

  • If your loved ones observed your daily actions all year rather than just listening to your words, would they recognize the person you claim to be? Would they confirm alignment between your stated values and lived life?

  • Are there areas where you openly contradict your supposed values to fit in or avoid confrontation? Do you laugh along when colleagues mock causes you care about? Do you invest time chasing goals that mean nothing to you?

  • What tough decisions are you avoiding or putting off rather than facing them with courage because you know deep down the right path conflicts with outside expectations? What conversations are you dodging?

  • When you drift from alignment with your inner truth, what role does fear play? Are you afraid of risking status or relationships if you stick to your principles?

  • If alleviating struggle or boredom are secret priorities driving your decisions rather than purpose and fulfillment, what does that say about integrity to values?

  • Are you willing to be unpopular, miss promotions and have difficult conversations in order to stay aligned to your compass? Or will you keep betraying yourself and hoping no one notices the hypocrisy?

The Opportunity For Realignment

Gaining this level of clarity is invaluable, but the real opportunity is leveraging these insights to actively realign going forward.

If you uncovered gaps between values and actions this past year, why stay on the hamster wheel of self-deception? Instead have courage to understand why you drifted from inner wisdom so that you can credibly chart an aligned course in 2023.

Here are tangible steps:

  • Reflect on what provokes you to stray from core values in order to navigate priorities

  • Identify daily re-centering rituals to connect back to your compass when pulled off course

  • Communicate defined values with others to energize commitment

  • Spend 2 focused minutes each morning visualizing your ideal aligned self to prime neural pathways

This isn’t navel gazing – it’s credibly claiming agency in who you aim to be and how you intend to show up despite external noise. Through accountability, you give yourself the gift of freedom to live on purpose going forward.

The question is – as we turn the page into January 2023, will you have the courage to walk your talk? Or will you resign yourself to another year of self-betrayal rather than doing the work? I invite you to share any revelations uncovered on alignment or gaps relative to your core values over this past year. Let’s learn from and inspire each other!

The Journey Needs Guides

Gaining insight into misalignments between your values and actions is an important first step, but enacting lasting change often requires support. An executive coach provides invaluable guidance including:

  • Asking probing questions to uncover blindspots and accelerate your self-awareness

  • Offering tools and frameworks to make abstract goals like “living on purpose” actionable

  • Brainstorming creative solutions when you face dilemma about which path truly expresses your values

  • Serving as an accountability partner to ensure you stick to commitments that align words and deeds

  • Sharing wisdom and encouragement each step so you have courage to stay the course

As an executive coach focused specifically on helping leaders clarify and align to their core values while also achieving professional goals, I welcome the opportunity to support your journey. Please reach out if you see value in a coaching partnership as you work to integrate values fully into your life and leadership going forward. I’d be happy to offer a free introduction session to see if we’re a fit.

The time for excuses and self-betrayal is over. With self-insight and expert support, you can make 2024 the year you walk your talk.